I looked out my window today. I can see into others backyards. There is a dad on the trampoline with his sons. They are all laughing. It should not serve as a punch to my gut but it does.
My children are on spring break. I had them the first half. Their dad the second. We have a rule in our divorce decree that we have to tell the other if we go X amount of miles away with the kids. I learned through a FaceTime that he took them to Texas. That is X to the 3rd miles away at least. He did not tell me.
I used to ask him all the time to please play outside with our kids. He would not. Since I left him, there is lots of evidence pointing to the fact that he still does not. Except when there is an audience to impress. Girlfriend, drinking buddies, future in-laws, co-workers…
The Texas FaceTime showed him in the backyard throwing a football with the kids and laughing. Equally made me roll my eyes while simultaneously wanting to vomit. Angry while filled with disgust. I remind myself that it doesn’t matter what his purpose is because it makes my children happy.
And yet, today I saw no one watching the dad in the backyard except his own children. Kudos to that man. That’s the thing my children’s dad forgets… that the most important ones to impress are the ones he cares nothing about. And they are watching all the time.